Saturday, August 23, 2014

A Definitive Guide to Nicknames

Nicknames can be both terms of endearment and destructive blows to the ego.  Although there is not really a formality to it, there is an art to coming up with good ones.  Just like most art forms, you have to follow general rules for success in the beginning. If followed correctly, it will result in an exemplary name that will haunt its host for potentially the rest of their life.

Rule #1- Context

As with a newborn baby, an individual must be christened with a name that will both align with the culture and represent the nature of the individual. Obviously naming an American baby from the Midwest Vlad or Helga would turn some heads, but this is where naming babies and nicknames diverge. Within the appropriate context of nicknaming, all names are potentially valid. Vlad could be the weird guy down the street that wears a little too much black or Helga could be…the weird guy down the street who when not wearing black wears a blonde wig, dances polka, and eats piles of schnitzel and egg noodles. Because the individual exhibited the characteristics of someone typically named Vlad or Helga, there was a context for the out of place names. Out of place people equal out of place names.

Rule #2- Application

As you saw in the previous example, to have a good nickname, it must directly apply to the person/s you are dubbing unfit for their government name. This provides the glue that helps the name stick. Most nicknames have something that connects the name to the individual whether it is an observed action (usually failed action), physical characteristic (deformity), location (associating the worst parts of said location), or just a funny story (specifically singling out that person as the joke). Without this rule, it is hard to justify a name that doesn’t really apply.

Rule #3- Intrigue

People love to be entertained. If someone has a good nickname, people can be entertained for hours. The only thing is, the name has to have enough oomph, pizazz, or comical effect that it captivates the audience and leaves them asking “What?! Where in the world…?”




Rule#4- Am I a little pissed off?

The MOST important rule and key to a successful nickname is determined by the person receiving the name. The test is to ask yourself, “Am I a little pissed off?” If the answer is no, it is not a quality name. If you are infuriated, then it’s gone too far and has become derogatory. Nicknames are supposed to be fun rather than a full-on personal assault. You know it is a good nickname when after saying it to yourself you first react with pursed lips and a muttering of “son of a…” under your breath but then finish with a couple of chuckles and say, “I hope this ends soon.”

On a related note: you cannot give yourself a nickname. No one can accurately poke fun at themselves as well as a peer can.



Rule #5- There are no Rules

Once you’ve mastered the first four rules, there are endless possibilities as to where, when, why, and how a nickname comes, the trick is just figuring out what it is.

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So far in Panama nicknames have flourished within our group. Some of the names include but are not limited to: Dengue Sam, Sun Beam (now [Pre] Case Study Sam), Momma Bear, Rambo (who is female), the Jaguars (or team Jaguar when in a group), JC Penny, Jota, and in my Latino community, mine is Papa Dulce. Papa Dulce can either mean Sugar Daddy or Sweet Potato depending on where the accent over the last “a” in Papa is. In this context and in keeping with the rules of this guide for proper name distribution, I would say it is probably the latter.

Now that we are exiting training and beginning our actual service, some of us have moved into indigenous communities where volunteers receive names in the native language of Ngäberi. My new indigenous name is Kchi Palacio. Not only does it mean skinny in Ngäbe culture, but it is also pronounced Crotchy. A friend was so kind as to reveal that with a little bit of Latino influence and English interpretation, my name is Crotch Palace. Yes…I have done the Rule #4 test and it passes with flying colors. These people have obviously mastered the art of nicknames.



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